So

I wasted the day away. But I feel really good right now.

I'm feeling inspired

Enlightened. Uplifted. I feel like the blackness I let myself sink into is beginning to fade.

I've seen more in the last couple of days and received words of wisdom from a number of wonderful people and I think I know what I must do.

There are so many things I want to do to help this world. And in however many lives I live, I will try to accomplish as many as possible. Right now though, I'm looking at one life. I am going to fill this life up as best as I can and help as many people as I can.

I will educate. I will heal. I will help. I will love.

I'm sorry.

But you really fucking piss me off. I am quickly losing ability to associate with you.

Untitled

I don't know how to not care!!! Sweeping under the rug is NOT a solution!!!

Link your arms and keep your chin up and I know that we'll be fine

My friends are making me nervous. I'm really scared that some people are going to get hurt and we are going to have feel more tragedy. Still, no one learns anything. I urge everyone to be careful this weekend. I don't know why, but I get really bad vibes about this weekend. I'm nervous. I don't want anything bad to happen to anyone. Please please please. I love you all so much and I don't want something awful to happen.

OMG

SAATBOTRBVAA!!!!

I think you should all know something.

My brother is one of the greatest people ever. Get to know him, he's super swell.

Hiding II

I do not need someone to hold on to. I need someone to hold onto me.

Hiding

I need to get myself under control. I'm still spiraling. I don't know what's going on. Nothing seems stable. I need to hold onto something.

Yipes.

Pretty tight weekend yo. Drama day was a lot of fun and the show was seriously awesome. Props to all the bands that played fo sho.

And now it's Sunday night. I can't tell you how much I'm dreading school tomorrow. I don't like that. It's my senior fucking year and everything is going well for me, I should be excited. But I'm in a shitty mood and I feel like everything is going wrong at school. I can't handle being around people. They make me so upset. Even my friends piss me off. I don't know what to do, I feel like I'm losing control. I just want to spend the rest of my life in a room with the people I can count on, the handful of you. To them: Thank you.

This is such a rant.

My point is I've been really down lately. And I really want to come up.

Don't You Ever Get Lonely

I haven't posted in a while... I'm so caught up with homework and general getting life in order right now. Big shits poppin in WTP and I'm trying to stay on track with the play. Plus, shit just hit the fan in newspaper and I'm trying to keep that in order and please crying teenage girls. Why did I take on all this again?

I feel like I'm learning a lot this year, a lot about life. Like how to be a free thinker and be respectful in doing so. I feel like I can more fairly and respectfully argue my ideas. I feel like I'm gaining a lot of life experience too. I feel like no matter what happens this rest of the year, which I think is going to be all rainbows and sunshine, I'm going to come out of it a better person. I'm growing up everyday. How silly is that?

Now I feel kind of melancholy. But not really in a bad way. Just subdued. That doesn't make any sense. Oh well. The important thing is I'm happy. I'm happy.

By the way

I am fully aware that I am a whiny bitch.

All I Ever Say is I'm Tired

I never sleep anymore.

I hate this. Why can't you still be in high school? Why can't you be on a reasonable schedule? I want to talk to you. I want to be with you. I want you to care about me.

Smile

Friday sucked. And then it was really great.

I am extremely frustrated with our society and my generation. I don't understand the things many seem to find joy in. I also don't understand how to separate my morals from my judgment, how to not be judgmental, and how to accept that actions don't define people's character. Sometimes, I'm a mess of hypocrisy and confusion.

But then faith is restored. I see the bright spots in our society and I get hope. I get hope that maybe something can good out of all this. I thank those of you that remind me of that every day. Thank you thank you thank you for showing me that there is good in the world.

I'm really happy and I'm really looking forward to tonight.