Wild World of Sports!

It's been a bit of a crazy couple of days.

First of all, I finished my app for State today. Holy shit, I'm an adult. I want to go read Catcher in the Rye. I am really excited, but I'm scared. I don't think I'm ready to leave childhood behind. I just don't know about anything...

Okay enough of that, goodness time. I am Scrooge in the play. Holy shit. Not at all expected, but I'm so fucking excited. AHH! I'm really proud of everyone who tried out and I'm so happy with this cast. It's going to be so much fun!!!

Gabby and I fought a bunch this weekend, but last night, we stayed up till two, cried, and figured it all out. Today was such a wonderfully happy day. I'm walkin' on clouds. I love it when things are just great. Oh boy oh boy oh boy.

Good times. More to come. I'm so happy right now.

Love is a beautiful thing.

Kids these days

I don't think I'll ever understand.

Losing faith

In myself. In my beliefs.

I fight an ongoing battle between the person I am and who I want to be, who I feel I should be. My morals and beliefs contradict the person that I am. Some days I know what's going on. Other days I'm lost.

Lately, I'm lost again...

I'm sorry if this offends you.

But Christians really piss me off. I know, this is a generality, but how can you give yourself the title of Christian, derived from Christ, a man you believed to be all loving and all accepting, and then hate people for their religion and their beliefs. Let's just love everyone and just accept who they are. Just because I don't believe in your god doesn't mean you have the right to convert me. I know you think I'm going to hell, but I don't believe in your hell, so that doesn't do us a whole hell of a lot of good.

I have no problem with spreading your message, but don't try and tell me it's your job to save me. I'll save myself.

Be your own god. Love yourself and never stop thinking.

Shit dog!

I got called back for Scrooge and Christmas Present... I'm so excited! But so nervous. I'm up against two of my best friends for Scrooge and its crazy. I hope no one is mad if one of us gets it. Crazy crazy. I've been working on the parts though, I'm feeling pretty confident. I really like my Scrooge monologue, except for the "Ah!" I gotta make something out of it. I feel like I'm using accents too, gotta watch that.

I'm crazy nervous, its all I can think about. YAHYAHSDFYEDAFHSDK SDHG!

HAHAHAHAH!

This school is a fucking joke. I now can't apply to college because three weeks into the school year my schedule is still not what it is supposed to be and I have to go through some dumb ass secretary to see my counselor. I have a list of questions I need answered and I can't even walk ten feet to see him for ten fucking minutes. So now I'm still stuck. I have until October 6 to get this application in. No doubt its going to take three months to send my transcript. If I get held out of college because of these fucks, I'm gonna raise hell. This is bullshit.

Oh and on top of that, halfway through the third week of school, we still don't have the right software on our Macs in newspaper. I sure would love to be able to actually fucking accomplish something in my class. And dumbass Mr. Modziers gets pissed at me because I can do his job better than he can.

This is ridiculous. I can't even learn or move forward or do anything in a fucking school!!!

September 22

Today starts the week. Things to do.

Catch up in WTP.
Apply to MSU.

These are fucking huge. I'm failing so hard right now. And I'm blogging instead of working on either. Fuck.

Tomorrow are Christmas Carol auditions. I'm scared shitless. I really want to do well and get a big part. I think my chances are good. Still intimidating though. We'll see what happens.

There is this thing called "See You at the Pole" sometime this week. A bunch of Christian kids are supposed to get together and pray at the flag pole before school. It's supposed to be a unifying movement or something. I really want to try and come up with some kind of protest, but I don't know what to do or really why I want to do it. I just have such a problem with everything I know about organized Christianity. Like it just seems like such a sheep thing to do, I don't feel like half the people that claim to be Christians really know their faith. The lose ideas I have of what Christianity is supposed to represent is wonderful. But when it comes down to actual execution, it fails. It seems like the people that have found God are the ones who are judging people, pushing others away, keeping other people down, and making choices that hurt themselves or others. Meanwhile, the Godless swine that I am tries to promote the opposite. I'm not trying to say I'm some amazing example, but I feel like I'm obeying Christian views better than many of my peers. What the hell am I saying? I'm judging people too. I do feel like I have some first hand experience though. I don't know. I hate everything. This is why this is called Holden Caulfield... Just do whatever the hell you wanna do. This is just my opinion. What do I know?

Try #5724

I've tried to make a blog like nine hundred times. I'm yet to have success... Maybe this will fair better.