September 22

Today starts the week. Things to do.

Catch up in WTP.
Apply to MSU.

These are fucking huge. I'm failing so hard right now. And I'm blogging instead of working on either. Fuck.

Tomorrow are Christmas Carol auditions. I'm scared shitless. I really want to do well and get a big part. I think my chances are good. Still intimidating though. We'll see what happens.

There is this thing called "See You at the Pole" sometime this week. A bunch of Christian kids are supposed to get together and pray at the flag pole before school. It's supposed to be a unifying movement or something. I really want to try and come up with some kind of protest, but I don't know what to do or really why I want to do it. I just have such a problem with everything I know about organized Christianity. Like it just seems like such a sheep thing to do, I don't feel like half the people that claim to be Christians really know their faith. The lose ideas I have of what Christianity is supposed to represent is wonderful. But when it comes down to actual execution, it fails. It seems like the people that have found God are the ones who are judging people, pushing others away, keeping other people down, and making choices that hurt themselves or others. Meanwhile, the Godless swine that I am tries to promote the opposite. I'm not trying to say I'm some amazing example, but I feel like I'm obeying Christian views better than many of my peers. What the hell am I saying? I'm judging people too. I do feel like I have some first hand experience though. I don't know. I hate everything. This is why this is called Holden Caulfield... Just do whatever the hell you wanna do. This is just my opinion. What do I know?